Have you had an adventure today?

They tell me that when faced with a death, everyone takes their own time to grieve. Some people may grieve for only a week or two, while others take a bit longer. But you shouldn't feel like you need to rush... take as long as you'd like. My question to them is, how do you know when your grieving period is over? I've been forced back into everyday life and the shit that comes along with it such as school work and tests and traffic.... but my mind isn't there. I have so much to catch up on, yet I find myself avoiding it and unable to concentrate. Steph was a massive part of my daily life, I don't think a lot of people understand this. So when I'm asked to take a midterm on Consumer Markets and Buying Behavior, I can't. Life continues on, and lately I've been finding myself getting angry or annoyed at those who are continuing on, even though we all really don't have a choice.

Among the tidal wave of feelings that I have been feeling on a daily basis, I catch myself getting annoyed and angry at the petty bs that people tend to get upset over or complain about. If there's one thing I've learned through all of this, it's to forgive and forget.... the forgetting part is super hard. Even if we say we forgive an individual, we often never let that one insignificant event go. In the grand scheme of things, I guarantee your current spat is not worth the time and energy you are spending on it. Forgive, forget and treasure the time you are given here because your days are numbered. Make something of your days, love others and love yourself. There are days when I have to remind myself of this, because I'd love to sit and wallow in my bed with the curtains shut. But then I remember that God has an ultimate plan for us all, and we're here for a reason. Do you know what the reason you're here is yet? Or are you still wallowing in your own petty problems and dilemmas. If there is one thing we can all learn from Steph, it's that she always lived everyday to the fullest. Someone made a comment to me the other day after watching this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkpnJHsXtAg
This person made a comment about how much Steph had done in her brief time on this earth, and how many people don't accomplish in 80 years what she had accomplished in a mere 21 years. Steph and I would be sitting on the couch watching TV and she would say "Let's have an adventure." Even if we were simply driving, she would turn our standard drive into a dance party.

I end this by asking everyone never to forget Steph, and never forget the way she lived her life. She rarely held grudges, rarely got angry and rarely didn't have fun. Think about that as you are fighting with a friend or loved one... and savor each millisecond you have with your best friend. And now I leave you with these moving lyrics by Miley Cyrus... what a poet....

I know you're in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

Even though it's different now, you're still here some how

I've always said "I don't have enough of an interesting or exciting life to take up blogging." I'm pretty typical, and if I did in fact take up blogging, people would realize this, and my entire coolness factor (the little that I have) would be obliterated. 

But the past few weeks changed my outlook on blogging... among may other things. 

For those of you who don't know, on March 25, 2008, I lost a huge part of my life. My best friend, no rather my sister, passed away at the age of 21. First, let's clear something up -- Steph's death was not caused by  any reckless or out of control activities. She didn't do any drugs, barely drank, couldn't even swallow a tylenol. So get all of those thoughts out of your head. Thank you.

Continuing on.... Steph was really into writing and kept journals for most of her life. I knew a lot about her, but her journals are where she really released her feelings, wishes, hopes and desires. She would tell me to write when I was feeling down, because that was her source of venting and releasing. I brushed it off, thinking it was silly and pointless. Now, as we continue on with our lives without Steph physically being here, those journals are more valuable to myself, her friends and family than anything in the world. I've yet to really get a chance to read her entries, except for one. This particular entry is entitled "Things To Do Before I Die" and she wrote it sometime in 2003 I believe. As I sat in her room in between wakes and read each item, all I could think was that I hope she knew how much of the list she had accomplished. Granted she was roughly 16 at the time, and a few of the things are a bit insignificant now, but the biggies.... those she undoubtedly accomplished in her brief period on this earth. I had to snap a picture of the list, so here it is for your viewing pleasure..

If you were lucky enough to have known Steph, you know that she was everything she wishes to be on her list, and so much more. 

This leads me back to my original point.... without the numerous journals Steph kept, we would not have such precious memories, stories, thoughts or feelings. So here I am, starting up a wonderful blog so that someone out there can understand just who I am, and one day, someone can look back and say... "Thank goodness for Kat's blog, without it, we would've missed so much of just what she was all about."

With that said, I will try not to disappoint with my random entries. I will try my hardest to be entertaining. But remember, I ain't no Kevin Jonas. 

I end this premier blog with one thing... remember to treasure those you really truly care about, because you never know when they will be taken away from you. Say "I love you" and mean it, give out meaningful hugs, and don't hold grudges. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed, so get over the petty crap. 

Seacrest out.