They tell me that when faced with a death, everyone takes their own time to grieve. Some people may grieve for only a week or two, while others take a bit longer. But you shouldn't feel like you need to rush... take as long as you'd like. My question to them is, how do you know when your grieving period is over? I've been forced back into everyday life and the shit that comes along with it such as school work and tests and traffic.... but my mind isn't there. I have so much to catch up on, yet I find myself avoiding it and unable to concentrate. Steph was a massive part of my daily life, I don't think a lot of people understand this. So when I'm asked to take a midterm on Consumer Markets and Buying Behavior, I can't. Life continues on, and lately I've been finding myself getting angry or annoyed at those who are continuing on, even though we all really don't have a choice.
Among the tidal wave of feelings that I have been feeling on a daily basis, I catch myself getting annoyed and angry at the petty bs that people tend to get upset over or complain about. If there's one thing I've learned through all of this, it's to forgive and forget.... the forgetting part is super hard. Even if we say we forgive an individual, we often never let that one insignificant event go. In the grand scheme of things, I guarantee your current spat is not worth the time and energy you are spending on it. Forgive, forget and treasure the time you are given here because your days are numbered. Make something of your days, love others and love yourself. There are days when I have to remind myself of this, because I'd love to sit and wallow in my bed with the curtains shut. But then I remember that God has an ultimate plan for us all, and we're here for a reason. Do you know what the reason you're here is yet? Or are you still wallowing in your own petty problems and dilemmas. If there is one thing we can all learn from Steph, it's that she always lived everyday to the fullest. Someone made a comment to me the other day after watching this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkpnJHsXtAg
This person made a comment about how much Steph had done in her brief time on this earth, and how many people don't accomplish in 80 years what she had accomplished in a mere 21 years. Steph and I would be sitting on the couch watching TV and she would say "Let's have an adventure." Even if we were simply driving, she would turn our standard drive into a dance party.
I end this by asking everyone never to forget Steph, and never forget the way she lived her life. She rarely held grudges, rarely got angry and rarely didn't have fun. Think about that as you are fighting with a friend or loved one... and savor each millisecond you have with your best friend. And now I leave you with these moving lyrics by Miley Cyrus... what a poet....
I know you're in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me
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4 comments:
you write such good blogs. i completely agree with ya. you're very wise.
When my best friend Shelby died i was in the same state of mind. I was getting so pissed off at the people who were taking things for granite... People being really rude and mean to their best friends I just would stop them and be like dude chill out because we're not promised each day thats given to us... When I was grieving over Shelb, it took me a while I'm still not used to it but thats the fact about it things will never be the same things won't get back normal because if someone like Steph has been apart of your life for so long it's hard to say hey my life is gonna be back to normal again today because the sad and awful truth is nothing is back to normal after such a great loss like that...
It's extra hard to be forced back into the public with it too going back to school is always hard sometimes the pity is nice but then sometimes it's seems like it makes it harder at least that's how it was for me ya know...
Stephanie taught me how to love she was such a free spirit... She was more than amazing and I will never forget her... She's done more for most people than anyone can say they have for a few people she's a star and you are too =D
I 100% agree with you people can't let it get them down you HAVE to get back up... Because God DOES have a master plan for everyone...
Whenever you need to talk dear I'm always here for you<3333333333
you are very wise, love. i enjoy your blog very much so.
I loved this blog - you know I feel exactly the same way. And I said it to Gabby too - it seemed like all the people older than Steph were at the wake standing there wondering, 'What have I done in the extra years I was given that Steph didn't accomplish in those 21?' It's hard to mourn because anytime I start crying I'm reminded of how great she was, how much she'd done and how much I laughed with her. I guess I'm selfish but I felt like Steph was the force that pushed me to live my life as well as I did - but you're right, we need to continue living and, if anything, live it up for Steph. Get things done that she didn't have the chance to do. (I.E - Nick Cahtah.)
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